Does smart goal setting is only option for gigantic success in student life?

When your child comes to the teen stage, every parent wishes that it’s the right time that their child now takes life seriously. Not only in terms of education but to learn other life skills like independence.

Only independence?

Being sensible parents, they want that their child learn about life a bit deeper level in addition to academics like

Problem-solving

Self-advocacy

Networking

Presentation skill and whatnot.

Every parent wants that their child should be the best one in this world.

And, most importantly back of their mind, one thing is there that, their child should be best in academics as best student amongst all.

Of course, the teen stage means the child is either class seven or eight. It’s the right time to choose stream also- science, humanities or commerce.

For that, parents surely go for career counselling or self-counselling to prepare the child.

One thing knowingly or unknowingly all parents do. That is smart goal setting.

Being a conscious parent, I am also well aware that middle school is an important time for our student child about key choices he makes. What he is putting into his body, how the way he is spending time so that he can reach his larger purposes in life, with whom he is spending his time; and what he will be doing to contribute to his families, schools, and communities.

For that, smart goal setting is a must.

After reading so many books on goal setting, I also formulated the best and smart goal for my teen student child to excel as a student as well as a good human being.

As I was a big fan of Tony Robbins and read almost all of his books available in the market, I thought, why go to career counsellor or any life coach/mentor in this line to choose his student career.

Let me set the smartest goal for him as a student of class VIII to design his student’s life ahead.

For me, that time, I thought, that was the smartest goal.

Yes, the goal  I set for our child is a gigantic one to help to achieve success in his student life.

After all, being parents, who do not want that their child gets outstanding success in life.

So do I.

I observed, our child was very busy most of the time with electronic gadgets. He could even make repairs of small damages to the gadgets. He was very fond of computer games.

As class VIII was the decisive year for a student to choose a stream in India- whether science, Humanities or stream.

His smart goal was formulated to find out which stream-science, humanities or commerce he had to choose in class Nine which would decide his further study in class Eleven and twelve to go for a higher study like Engineering, Medical or commerce.

The smart goal setting was to write in a diary what he wanted to become in life. Asked him whatever comes to his mind and keep on writing till he tired. May be 5 pages, 10 pages or 20 pages.

Just keep on writing what comes to mind.

Our child wrote almost 15 pages.

After thorough scrutiny of his writings, it could be found out that in future he wanted to become a computer Gamer!

For computer gamer, he had to study computers that means he needed to study computer science. To know thoroughly computer science, he had to go for computer science engineering. That means, he had to study science stream in his class XI and XII term to go for engineering and then to choose either electronics and telecommunication or computer science and engineering.

As our child was in class VIII, his stream for class nine onwards was decided that he should go for science stream for his future study in class XI/XII as that is the decisive stage to go for the higher study of engineering in India.

His smart goal was set in class VIII  itself that he will study Computer engineering.

As I read so many books on goal setting and all those exercises were the result of that, his future course of study was set and decided for now he had to study in the science stream only.

But what about his future study of engineering and that too, computer science and engineering.

For that, on top of his study table, the following writing was pasted.

I love science especially physics, mathematics and science.

I am a computer engineering student studying in one of the best colleges in India.

It was advised him to look into the above writings while studying and was also asked to visualize them before going to bed.

It was part of smart goal setting.

I was too confident in my smart goal setting to make our student child life a giant success story.

Fortunately, he was admitted to the science stream only in class XI in a very good school of Guwahati, Assam.

After two years of study, miraculously he was admitted to one of the best engineering colleges in Chennai, India in the computer science and engineering stream.

All set.

I was too happy with my smartest goal setting applied to our student child life. He was going in the right direction in his computer Gamer life. That would be a gigantic success in his student life.

What a smart goal was set!

I was in cloud nine that time thinking that smart goal setting worked in a gigantic way for our student child life!

I was too convinced that smart goal setting was the only option for gigantic success in student life.

Was it?????

It came all wrong within six months of our son’s study in that engineering college in the computer science stream.

He expressed his unhappiness. He even expressed to his mom that he was not liking the subject. His imagination of being a computer gamer and the subjects of all those C++, Python etc were totally different and very complex!

He quitted Engineering within six months.

It was for me like Sky is falling

My smart goal setting shattered in a big way.

Our student son’s life turned 360 degrees. That was another story.

But why smart goal failed.

Or, was it really a smart goal?

By the way, what definition you will give to a smart goal setting for success in student life.

Or, is there a specific smart goal for gigantic success in student life.

Smart goal setting is very important. For parents, if you really want all-around success in your child’s student life.

But the smart goal is the only option?

If analyzed critically, my way of formulating smart goals failed because of many reasons. But at the same time, the goal I designed for my student child also consists of all the ingredients of a smart goal template like

The goal is specific,

Measurable,

Attainable,

Relevant,

Timely

Practical

Reasonable.

It should have kept the  student on track

But it didn’t.

I realized that though the smart goal setting was done after a thorough study of different books of many experts in this field from the perspective of self it didn’t work because of the following reasons also.

# Fear of failure and at the same time success.

Fear is the key to attain the goal. Many students are afraid that what will happen if they fail. They lack confidence and belief in themselves. At the same time, they even afraid of success that if they get success, fellow students may be envious and think negatively of them.

So it becomes a  lose-lose situation no matter how they look at it. They fail to realize that they can achieve anything that set on one’s minds. Believe in yourself and your abilities and others will follow.

# Lack of commitment

Though some students think that they want to achieve a certain goal, in reality, they are not committed. In the case of my son, the goal was formulated after writings what he wants in life but that does not mean he is committed. Commitment is too crucial for attaining goal.

# Feeling unworthy of the end result

Some students literally don’t believe that they are worthy of attaining the goal. Even, sometimes they self-sabotage themselves. They tend to walk away from the key contact who will help them with their goal, or they neglect to do a critical activity that will enable them to achieve their goal. People who feel unworthy leads to lack of self-confidence You know, confidence is the key to attaining your goal.

#  Failing to plan

Though many students understand the formula of goal setting, they don’t have a near-future plan for goal attainment which is made personalized as far as further study is concerned. Simply, they neglect the self-potential they possess which can help them to attain the goal, as well as the inability to know who may be able to help them. We each human being brings so many unique talents and attributes on the card that can help us in some way. One has to be mindful of these advantages during the planning process and needs to use the resources available.

# “Why” Factor is missing

Though the smart goal is formulated most of the time it is not executed with the “why” factor in the case of students. It is being followed casually as Mom or Dad have jointly asked to do so. In such a case, the “Why” factor is missing. Students often fail to ask, why really I am doing this or I have to do this.

# Procrastination

You all know, what is procrastination. Procrastination is the mother of failure in student life. As the meaning of procrastination says, delaying the activities that must be done but at the same time those are boring and unpleasant. If procrastination can not be overcome, no students can succeed in life how smart the goal is.

Procrastination must be checked at all times by the students to get giant success.

It’s easy to say that I will start tomorrow or reach an obstacle as per plan and decide to handle it later. But as the saying goes: Tomorrow never comes.

# Analysis paralysis

Many students keep on asking questions and having doubts paralyze them. They use to believe that they can not start on a goal until they have all the answers to every “what if” scenario. Moreover,  no matter how long and hard one prepare, they will never have all the answers to the questions asked.

In addition, most students make their decisions and also answer their questions based on whether they are right now, rather than where they want to go or who they actually want to become.

# Goal-setting process is not understood

Many students believe that goal setting simply means putting a goal on paper, setting a date for completion, visualizing it as my son dies as per my instruction and then starting all over again.

By this time, you may be familiar with the concept of Smart goals. “Smart” indicates ideas, tactics, or methods that are developed as specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound.

But without being aware of the above points, smart goals are bound to fail in students life. Being parents, not the students, we should be more aware of all those aspects.

Another very important thing in the case of most parents is missing is, we want more perfection than connection with our children.

Unless an emotional connection is made with the students child,  smart of smartest goal template are going to fail.

But being parents, we are more tempted towards correction rather than connection with our student child.

Setting a goal is all about changing yourself for the long term. Smart Goals are not short-term or quick-fix things to do. Rather, smart goals are those that show the world who you want to become or what you want to achieve.

To get gigantic success in a student’s life, other than smart goat setting, making an emotional connection with your child is the utmost important aspect every parent must try to build.

As the quote says :

If you don’t have an emotional connection to why you are trying to accomplish your goals, the odds are you won’t reach them or will quit trying.

–Brett Hoebel.

-End-

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